I am a Type-A, task oriented, micro-manager.
I feel as if I must control everything around me otherwise tasks will never get done and important “things” will be missed. Let me tell you, this is exhausting, especially while juggling a job, a home, a husband and a toddler. I even blog about how to be a better task manager… example: my most popular post is: Five Must Have Productivity Apps for the Working Mom.
Today I was stressed beyond belief while running to Target on my lunch break, thinking of everything I have to do and prepare for my trip to Disney next week. Here was my thought process through the one hour adventure…
A bag for the park- don’t forget the ponchos!
Lydia needs sandals- a thought we have not had since she started walking this winter and it hasn’t been above 32 degrees since.
Oh man, Disney changed the FastPass system, it’s now FastPass+ and you need a park ticket to plan your rides… we have 14 people going, all with different reservations, how will we manage our ride schedule?!
My life seems to be made up of to-do lists and constant tasks swirling in my head to add to said to-do list. As soon as I check off one item, three more appear.
My journey to admitting I have a problem with stressing out and complaining too much started when a little boy named Corbin appeared on my Facebook feed a few months back. I cried for hours over this child that passed away from Trisomy 13– a term I didn’t even know about until I started following his story.
I am not a religious person and I say this with quite a bit of hesitation because I am sure a large part of my regular following are people from the church I attend. I understand that some people are passionately convicted in their religion and it defines their very existence. I have no problem with this, my husband is one of these people.
I prefer not to broadcast my beliefs, for a lot of reasons. I want to be clear, this post is not about what I do or do not believe. This is about a tragic situation that has convicted me that I stress about a lot of ridiculous crap in my life. A lot of wasted brain power goes into worrying and stressing about the most ridiculous stuff… seriously, stressing over remembering rain ponchos in DISNEY WORLD?! Wow, I have it rough…, right?
No, I don’t have it rough in comparison to a lot of people and yes, life can be stressful sometimes, but I sure do spend way more time complaining and a lot less time being beyond grateful that my family, and most importantly my daughter, are healthy. WHY DO I COMPLAIN so much? Sure life can be hard, but it could be so much harder!
Then there is Ben. A sweet local 4-year-old who has a brain tumor and only weeks to live. A perfectly healthy little boy who showed no signs of any problems until January when he started having bad headaches, and now only weeks left? I have been reading the blog his mom, Mindy, has been keeping. She is strong in her faith and her courage in the face of this situation is astonishing and admirable. She is praying for a miracle and knows that even if a miracle does not happen, Ben will be safe in the arms of God and safely in heaven.
Wow. Her baby is dying and she is not wavering in her faith.
At first, I ignored the religious part of what she was saying and focused on her pain as a mother. After I read her post from yesterday, I just could not stop feeling convicted that I complain too much, that I am not nearly as appreciative of life and my family as I should be.
From someone who is not sold out to religion, I have to say Mindy’s testimony has me questioning what I believe.
I know tonight, I hugged Lydia a little tighter before bed. When I came home alone with her tonight and dropped my keys in the snow, hit my head on the car door and then dropped my purse in the snow bank next to my keys– I would have complained and probably cursed. Then I remembered Ben and his mom Mindy and what they are struggling with tonight and it is teaching me to stop overreacting. While my keys remained in the snow, Lydia was yelling “Momma Momma Momma” from the car. What a beautiful thing to hear!
What I learned today was to push aside the stress of daily life and appreciate what you do have. Life is short and there are no guarantees for tomorrow.